Archive for March, 2009

A Great Saturday

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

Hello again,

Rebekah and I had a great day together this past Saturday.  The Columbia Museum of Art has an Exhibit from the National Museum of Wales.  The exhibit includes a lot of paintings by impressionists including Monet, Manet, Renoir, Pissarro, and some others.  We both really like impressionistic art – especially Monet, so when we heard about the exhibit we decided to attend.  

It was a nice day — sunny and in the mid 60’s.  We managed to find the museum despite the directions we printed from the internet (OK, OK, I took a wrong turn).  It took a little while to find parking, other cars kept getting our spot before we could circle back to it (I guess they thought it was their parking spot!).  Anyway, after a quick U-turn we parked relatively close.  There wasn’t a very big crowd, but one lady about knocked Rebekah down getting in line to get tickets, which added some unexpected humor.  The exhibit was very good; afterwards we stopped by the Museum Shop and got Rebekah an umbrella with a Monet “Water Lillies” print. 

We wrapped up the day with a little more shopping and dinner at Chile’s (We are big fans of their Chicken Tacos).

There’s no one I’d rather spend time with than my spouse.  Maybe not everyone has this kinf of relationship, but I believe everyone can have it.  We didn’t always, but we do now.

Have a great week.

Posted in Life, marriage tips | 2 Comments »

A Wedding vs. a Marriage

Saturday, March 21st, 2009

Rebekah and I were in Barnes and Noble Bookstore yesterday, browsing the books and having a coffee.  I started looking at the bridal and wedding magazines (which probably looked a little odd since I am a guy).  There were at least a dozen, all targeting prospective brides with advertisements and articles on how to have a beautiful marriage.  Here I was looking at literally thousands of pages of information on having a good wedding, and in all of those magazines, I found one that had a one page article on how to have a good marriage.  Wow. 

A beautiful wedding does not guarantee a good marriage.  Most people don’t want to hear this, but it is true.  Don’t get me wrong, a wedding should be beautiful.  I just don’t think we should forget the marriage in the process leading up to the wedding event.  Statistics show that the average couple spends 250 – 500 hours preparing for a wedding, and 0 – 5 hours preparing for the marriage. 

You don’t start college preparing for the graduation.  Your career preparation (classes, studying, and exams) last nearly until graduation day.  I want to encourage every prospective bride and groom, please take time to prepare for the marriage through premarital counseling and reading.  You will be glad you did.  I want you to have a beautiful wedding AND a beautiful marriage.

Posted in Uncategorized, marriage counseling, marriage help, marriage tips | 2 Comments »

Listening

Thursday, March 19th, 2009

Listening is a vastly overlooked part of communication.  It seems that everyone wants to be heard and very few want to hear.  James 1:19 tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.  If we could all just apply these three principles to our lives and marriages, we would vastly improve our communication skills.

Posted in marriage counseling, marriage help, marriage tips | 2 Comments »

Rihanna and Chris Brown

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Many people are interested in this story, some for good reason since they are either in the same situation or they have a friend the situation.  I am going to make a comment, and admittedly, all I know is what the media has portrayed. 

Should Rihanna have taken Chris back? This is a common question. Well, Proverbs 14:7 says to leave the presence of a fool. In my book, someone who abuses you is a fool.

I have two daughters, one is 22 and the other is 13. I would advise them to turn loose anyone who is either physically or even verbally abusive, ESPECIALLY if you are not married to them. If not married, let go and move on; no matter what this person says, they do not truly love you — they do not have your best interests at heart. If you are married, I would recommend removing yourself (and kids) from the abuse; removing yourself from the situation does not necessarily mean divorce, but perhaps leaving the situation will give the abusive spouse the wake up call they need to make some needed changes.

Posted in christian marriage ministry, divorce | 2 Comments »

Say no to divorce

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Hello everyone. Here’s another entry to help you have a better marriage.

You need to eliminate the word divorce from your vocabulary. It should never be considered as a possibility for your own marriage. The idea of divorce brings insecurity into a marriage, and you can’t build anything lasting on insecurity.

Many years ago, Rebekah and I used to get into BIG arguments. Many times, we would get angry and one of us would bring up divorce. Sometimes we would say it just so the other person didn’t get to say it first. It was as if the first one to bring it up had the advantage.

Then one day, along about 1992, I told Rebekah that divorce was no longer an option for us. I told her we were going to make our marriage work. She agreed, but sticking to it wasn’t easy. The next time we got into an argument, Rebekah brought it up. I was mad and wanted to jump on the bandwagon and say, “OK! Let’s get a divorce.” But I didn’t. I remembered our decision and said, “No! Divorce is not an option for us. I love you, and I am committed to you, and we are going to make our marriage work.”

This same thing happened just one more time. The results were dramatic. By saying no to divorce, we I brought tremendous security to her. It was a huge step forward in our relationship. We have never allowed divorce to be mentioned as a possibility for us since then.

I challenge you; eliminate the word divorce from your vocabulary. Even if your spouse brings it up, don’t you follow suit. Do what we did and say “NO” to divorce.

MATTHEW 19:6 NKJV
…So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Posted in christian marriage ministry, divorce, marriage help | 2 Comments »

Sunday with Rebekah

Monday, March 9th, 2009

Hello all,
I spent a great day yesterday with my wife, Rebekah. After church, we spent the afternoon together. Rebekah’s car is a convertible Beetle. The temperature was about 80 here in SC so we took the convertible, had a late lunch at Olive Garden, went and bought a couple of lamps at Pier One, then went and saw Bride Wars at the local $1.99 theatre. It was great.

One of the best investments a person can make is to spend time with their spouse doing things together that they enjoy. The pressures of our daily lives tend to put distance between us. It takes effort to stay close. The effort is well worth it, though, and I for one enjouy the effort.

Have a great week.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Weekly Marriage Tips

Friday, March 6th, 2009

Be sure to sign up for our free weekly marriage tips. these go out every Monday and are a great way to continuously improve your relationship one step at at time.
You can sign up at http://marriagebythebook.org/resources.htm
Thanks!

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Marriage By The Book

Friday, March 6th, 2009

Hello and welcome. I’m Rick Porterfield and this is my first blog. My wife Rebekah and I are Christian marriage ministers. We have been doing this since 1994 and we have seen hundreds of marriages improved and saved. We have seen marriages saved even when marital infidelity was involved. The truth is, any marriage, no matter how bad, can be saved. Also, any marriage, no matter how good, can be made better. Even if you are the only one who wants your marriage (i.e., your spouse doesn’t care) , there are things you can do by yourself to help save your marriage.

On this blog, I will be posting advice and tips to help you have a great relationship.

The first tip is shown above and it is a tip meant to give you hope — any marriage can be saved and any marriage can be made better. This is the absolute truth. The Bible offers the best guidance available for having a great and continuously growing relationship.

Keep checking back, and feel free to visit our website at marriagebythebook.org .

Posted in christian marriage ministry, marriage counseling, marriage help, marriage tips, save your marriage | No Comments »