Choose Your Bucket

Have you ever been talking to your spouse and sparks begin to shoot?  You know what I mean – one of you says something that the other doesn’t like, and anger begins to rise.  In these situations, what you say next will usually determine whether the anger is calmed, or whether a roaring and destructive blaze breaks out.  James 3:5 and 6 says in part, “Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.  See how great a forest a little fire kindles!  And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity (NKJV).” What you say can certainly set the situation on fire – or not.   Here’s what I do to help me in these situations.  I imagine that I’m carrying two buckets.  One is filled with water and the other with gasoline.  When sparks begin to shoot in a conversation, by the words I speak, I choose which bucket I will toss on those sparks.  If I answer calmly, it is like tossing the water, and I will quench the fire and avoid damage.  If I answer in anger, I just tossed the gasoline and the damage may be widespread and lasting. Proverbs 15:1 NKJV says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger (NKJV).” We need to focus on turning away wrath.  So douse your spouse with the water for better communication and a better relationship!