The Big Lie

Have You Heard This One? Rebekah and I had horrible problems during our first couple of years of marriage.  Did I look for help?  No. I was afraid to tell anyone or confide anything to anyone, even to friends, because I thought I was the only person in the world dealing with these kinds of relationship problems.  I was afraid that if I said something, people would think something was wrong with me.  Maybe they would think less of me as a man.  Maybe they would not want to be my friend.  Maybe they would talk about me behind my back.  Maybe plain old pride was getting in the way.    Whatever it was, I didn’t look for help and things just got worse.  I would actually get mad at Rebekah if she suggested getting help.   Years later, after we got involved in marriage ministry, I found out that the idea that you are the only one having problems is common to lots of people.  They suffer in silence, afraid to admit they need help.  Folks, this is a lie that the devil tells us to keep us from seeking the answers we need.       Let’s just expose this lie right now.  The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7:28, that married people are going to have “trouble in the flesh.”  Having issues to work through in marriage is normal; there is nothing wrong with you.   1 Peter 5:9 tells us to Resist the devil, “steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.”  You are not the only one with relationship issues.    It is a normal thing to have to learn to get along in marriage.  You have to learn to be married just as you have to learn anything, whether it is walking, or talking, or reading, or driving.    So the bottom line is this — you are not the only one dealing with stuff.  You are not weird, or messed up, and it does not mean something is wrong with you.  Don’t let this lie keep you from getting help.  Answers for your situation are available in the Word, in books, and from sound Christian teaching and counsel.  Get help. 

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